Gone Away
by gahhMinerva
Summary: A songfic set after HBP. Minerva McGonagall deals with youknowwhat. HBP spoilers, obviously.


All things Harry Potter belong to J.K. Rowling. I'm just borrowing them. And the song doesn't belong to me, either. It is by The Offspring.

Summary: Another one of those stories about Minerva after the death of Albus Dumbledore. Songfic to "Gone Away" by The Offspring.

A/N: This is my first ADMM fic. I hope you enjoy it, although it's, well, bad. Reviews are greatly appreciated, as I'd like to continue writing ADMM stories. Thanks in advance.

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The students had left aboard the Hogwarts Express about an hour ago. Professor Minerva McGonagall sat alone in Dumbledore's former office. It was now hers, but she couldn't bring herself to believe that. For so long, it had belonged to Albus Dumbledore -- her best friend, her husband. Yes, they were married, but that was kept secret. Minerva couldn't wait for the war to end, so they could stand together and proudly announce their marriage. Sadly, now that day wouldn't ever come.

Although she did her best to appear strong for the students in staff, inside she was tearing apart. Tears that were kept hidden finally found their way out of her emerald-green eyes and rolled down her face.

"Oh, Albus, how could you die?" Minerva sobbed, resting her head in her hands. "The world needs you..., the school needs you..., _I_ need you!"

She turned around in Albus's chair and looked at his portrait. He was slumbering soundly, looking very peaceful in his sleep. Fresh tears sprang to Minerva's eyes.

"Wake up, Albus, please... come back to me!" she cried. "Even -- even if you're still here in a portrait, it -- it's just _not_ the same! I love you! Please... just wrap your strong, comforting arms around me once more..."

_Maybe in another life  
I could find you there  
Pulled away before your time  
I can't deal; it's so unfair  
_  
Professor McGonagall took a few great, steady gasps before continuing. "And Headmistress? How can I be Headmistress of Hogwarts? That is, if it even opens again... And if it does! I'll never be able to handle the job as well as you did! I can't take this, Albus! I just can't handle it!"

As she stared at his portrait, she remembered all the things she loved about Albus: the twinkle in his eyes, his love for candy, his loving embrace, his kiss...

Minerva whirled around and ran out of the office. She couldn't bear to think about those things -- things about him she'd never be able to experience again. The staircase spiraled down, too slowly for her. She had to get away from the office. Busting out the door and dashing past the stone gargoyle, the only place she thought to go was outside.

_And it feels  
Yeah, it feels like  
Heaven's so far away  
And it feels  
Yeah, it feels like  
the world has grown cold  
Now that you've gone away_

Tears streamed down her face as she bustled down the marble stairwell, accidentally knocking over tiny Professor Flitwick, who was still recovering from what happened in Snape's office. Minerva sobbed some more when she realized he would be the best choice as Deputy Headmaster, her old position. She burst out of the Entrance Hall doors and felt herself running toward Albus's white tomb.

"Albus... I don't know what I'm doing," Minerva murmured, after collapsing in front of the tomb. "I - I can't do this. I'm not prepared for... for life without you."

_Leaving flowers on your grave  
Show that I still care  
Black roses and Hail Marys  
Can't bring back what's taken from me_

I reach to the sky  
And call out your name  
And if I could trade  
I would

"You just shouldn't have died!" Minerva cried out, getting hysterical again. "You worked so hard... for the Order... to help Harry... to help all of us get through this war... But it's not _over_ yet! We still need your guidance, Albus! Oh, Albus... it wasn't your time to die."

Minerva stood up, attempting to regain her composure. "Albus... wherever you are... I need you to hear me. I just... I just want to tell you some things." She began walking back toward the castle. "I really wish I knew what you and Harry were doing that night. I just want to know what's going on. He says that he can't tell me, that it was a secret between you and him. So... he kept your secret. We - we buried you at Hogwarts, like you wanted, if you don't already know." She paused. "And... and I think I'm going to reopen Hogwarts. You would've wanted that... right?"

Minerva sat down on the stone steps in front of the Entrance Hall doors. She bit her lip and pondered for a moment. She wished Albus could have been sitting beside her, comforting her. She missed him terribly; she felt so alone. A minute or so later, she whispered softly, "I'm going to try my best, Albus... But I - I need some reassurance..."

_And it feels  
And it feels like  
Heaven's so far away  
And it stings  
Yeah it stings now  
The world is so cold  
Now that you've gone away_

Gone away, gone away, yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah  
Ouuhhh, ouhhh, ouhh yeah

"Albus...," Minerva murmured as she sat there, silently crying. "Please tell me that we'll all be okay. Please. Please tell me that I'll be able to lead the school." Then she said, almost in audibly, "I miss you."

_I reach to the sky  
And call out your name  
Oh please let me trade  
I would_

And it feels  
And it feels like  
Heaven's so far away  
And it feels  
Yeah it feels like  
The world has grown cold  
Now that you've gone away

"We all miss him," a voice squeaked from behind. Minerva turned around to see Professor Flitwick standing behind her. Although he was a two steps higher, his face was level with hers.

"Hi, Filius," she said, giving him a weak smile.

"You'll make a great Headmistress, Minerva," he said. "I'm sure the rest of the staff is behind you one hundred percent."

"Thank you, Filius... that means a lot to me," she replied faintly. He smiled at her.

"Are you going to be okay?" he asked. Minerva nodded. Professor Flitwick took one more glance at her and walked back into the castle.

Minerva looked up toward the sky, knowing Albus was up there, somewhere, in a better place.

_Gone away, gone away, yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah  
Ouuhhh, ouhhh, ouhh ohh oh yeah_

"...I will be all right," she decided, genuinely smiling for the first time in several days.

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A/N: Thank you for reading! 


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